Episode 6: Should You Let People Pet Your Dog?

Hello everybody, and welcome back to the next episode of Let’s Go for a Walk. Today we are going to discuss why you do not need to let everybody pet your dog while you are out on walks.

I know this might sound obvious, but it can be surprisingly difficult to say no, especially when someone approaches you and says, “What a beautiful dog, can I pet them?” Even when you feel that it might not be the best idea, it can be hard to refuse. I am here to tell you that it is absolutely okay to say no, and in many cases, it is encouraged.

People love dogs, and we have been conditioned to believe that dogs exist largely for human enjoyment. Dogs do provide a lot of enjoyment, but they are not here solely for that purpose. You are not under any obligation to let strangers pet your dog.

Often, you will know instinctively when it is not a good idea. You can also assess your dog’s body language to determine whether an interaction is appropriate.

Every time someone pets your dog, something is being reinforced in the dog’s brain. If your dog is neutral around people, then petting may simply reinforce that neutrality. If your dog is highly social, every interaction reinforces the idea that people equal stimulation, attention, and excitement. This often leads to behaviors like pulling on the leash, vocalizing, and becoming overly excited around strangers.

If you have a fearful dog or a puppy that is not fully comfortable with people, allowing strangers to pet them can reinforce fear. The dog cannot escape the interaction and is forced to tolerate something that may feel threatening. Over time, the dog learns that it cannot get away. If flight is not an option and fight is not appropriate, freezing often becomes the default response.

In my opinion, petting should only be allowed if it supports your goals for your dog. If your dog needs positive social exposure and is comfortable with people, then allowing petting may be appropriate. However, in most situations, people do not need to pet your dog.

I see this most often with puppies. Owners have good intentions and believe their puppy needs to meet as many people as possible. They take their puppy into overstimulating environments, and when people approach, the puppy shows clear stress signals. These may include trying to move behind the owner, shifting away, lip licking, paw lifting, or shutting down entirely.

Despite these signals, someone often approaches enthusiastically, leans over the puppy’s face, and begins petting them. Owners, trying to be polite, may hold the puppy in place with the leash. The puppy learns that unpleasant things happen when people approach and that they cannot escape. This is not the association you want your puppy or adolescent dog to develop.

The same applies to dogs that are overly social or lack impulse control. New people are highly stimulating, and meeting them floods the dog’s brain with feel-good chemicals. Every time an overexcited dog is allowed to greet someone in that state, the behavior is reinforced. The dog learns that acting this way leads to access to people. Once this pattern is established, it can be very difficult to change.

Puppies naturally struggle with impulse control, and that is normal. If your puppy is overly excited, you can wait until they calm down before allowing interaction. You can also use treats to redirect their attention, create an alternative focus, and begin teaching appropriate behavior from the start. This helps build good habits early.

Never feel obligated to let people pet your dog. If someone approaches quickly, especially children who may be at your dog’s eye level and reach for their face, it is okay to say no. You can be firm and clear. Allowing those interactions does not teach your dog anything beneficial, regardless of how friendly they are. It also does not teach children how to respectfully and safely interact with animals.

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